Heartbreak and Hurt

Sometimes it is really hard to see God and/or feel His presence when we are in the middle of heartbreak and hurt. For me, 2016 has been a year full of heartbreak and hurt. I know there are also so many out there who are hurting, especially during this holiday season. So many parents who are grieving because they lost children this year. So many grandchildren and children are grieving their first holiday without their parent/grandparent. Hurt is everywhere this year. It feels as though 2016 has been especially hard for so many. Maybe it’s just in my circle? I don’t know. 

What I do know is that we have an amazing Savior and Father who are here to carry us through – even if we don’t feel Him. Jesus tells us to come to Him and He will give us rest. So many of us have been laboring through this year. It is time for rest.

I have had a year and it came to a breaking point in Friday. I’ve had multiple people, of various ages in my life, leave this earthly world and enter into eternity. One of the worst was when my friend Katy left us in January at age 29 after a freak accident. That has been a hard pill to swallow. A kid from where I grew up passed away in July at age 25. I know God has his reasons – sometimes we won’t know what they are until we meet Him in our eternity. We just need to remember that God is good. 

I have felt so far away from God for most of this year. I have struggled with life this year. Things that I thought were one way ended up being another. My Spiritual walk has not been as strong as I would like it to be. I have been so blue for most of this year. My physical energy is absolutely drained. If I could, I would sleep most of the day. That’s how this year has gone. 

Today, I opened up the Bible app (from Youversion) and 2 Corinthians 12:9 is the verse of the day. 

Thank you, O God, for this reminder. In a year of so much loss – including a job and the impending death of my car – I am reminded that God’s grace is all I need. 

I have so many questions as to where God is taking my ministry and what He wants me to do. It, honestly, drives me absolutely crazy not knowing. But I know that God has plans for me to prosper and not be harmed (Jeremiah 29:11). I know that God has my back. Sometimes when I feel the furthest from our Heavenly Father, He sends me a message to let me know that He is here. Whether it be through Scripture, a phone call, an email, or any other various ways, He lets me know that He is here and He is listening. For me, this became evident this weekend. 

Two weeks ago, I was informed that my position, at the church where I work, is being eliminated (although I kind of knew that was coming). Within twelve hours of that, my grandpa passed away. Then last Friday, I found out some bad news regarding my car. I was angry, heartbroken, and hurt. I expressed my anger to God. I felt like He wasn’t there – that He wasn’t looking out for me. How much more crap could I take? Then, Saturday night, I received a phone call from another church in the area asking me to come in for an interview. I think this was God’s way of telling me that He is here and He is listening. 

God knows our every need. He has known us since before we were born or even before we were conceived.God is great. He has our backs – especially when we are heartbroken and hurting. My friends, I pray that you will seek Him earnestly through your pain. Please know that He is there – even if you don’t feel Him. I pray that you would feel His loving arms wrapped around you so tightly that you can’t not know He is there. May you feel God’s peace and comfort through the remainder of 2016.
Featured photo credit: https://depressingquotesz.blogspot.com/2013/12/heartbreak-quotes-depressing-quotes-0058.html?m=1

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